Today, as I lay down on a bare mattress for a lunch hour nap, I felt really confident in my ability to navigate the world. I've been able to work, launder clothes, budget for groceries, exercise, pay bills on time, almost as soon as I moved out (I was almost 19). But in the recent past something new snuck up on me, which is that I have learned to do all the things it takes to keep me going sort of automatically. I also know my boundaries really well, the nuance of when it is worth it to stay up really late and have fun, and when it is worth it to say no thanks and go to bed at 10. I shop before I'm quite out of food. I use up my gasoline instead of religiously refilling it when it hit 1/4 tank because I was scared of getting stranded and ruining my engine. I'm pacing myself and prioritizing my time, I'm balanced. Then after my nap I forgot about this until a minute ago when I got home from the farmer's market and tucked 2 ears of corn into the fridge for Mum to eat on the drive down to Ventura tomorrow. It's so simple, but I:
-remembered it is Wednesday, farmer's market day
-contacted my carless housemate so I could meet her there and drive her home
-bought strawberries for the drive and then remembered when I saw the corn that it's Mum's favorite
-peeled open the corn like I saw everyone else doing, even though I felt embarrassed to, like I was questioning their wares
In the past I would almost certainly have skipped one of those things.
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