Sunday, June 17, 2007


Before I was enlightened, I used to have the best imagination! I could imagine anything! Dying on the Titanic, being drafted, being a Spice Girl, being filled with sand, being fantastically strong... and then it just stopped. Now that I understand the world a little better I have no time to imagine anything different, because I'm busy with nuances and patterns.

It was in English that I realized I can't imagine any more. We were supposed to write little fictional dialogues, and instead I wrote one I was in and left out the boring. It happened over and over until I realized I wasn't just having off-days, I really have let that skill lapse. Now when we have to do that I adapt something I've read or dreamed.

This isn't really important but I love language and have always had "writer" on my future hobby list, and now I'll have to go with nonfiction. To that end, I collect the particularly interesting or thought provoking or just clever or baffling things people around me say (or the things I say. I say pretty good stuff sometimes.) in a little red journal.

But I didn't invent collecting things, and so here are some excellent things from

Girl: I'm not a nerd.
Boy: Yeah, you are.
Girl: Well, if I'm a nerd, you're a nerd.
Boy: No, I'm not.
Girl: Yes, you are.
Boy: No. Being a nerd is not a transitive property!

If You Were to Fill a Hat with Ice Cream...
Blonde: If you could be any flavor of ice cream, what would you be?
Redhead: Um...
Blonde: Well, you are what you eat. You can be monkey fudge!
Redhead: What?!
Blonde: Oh, wait, I mean Chunky Monkey. I'm making fun of your husband!
Redhead: You know, I'm the one drinking here.
Blonde: If you were any hat, what would you be?
Redhead: No.

I think the titles are what make them funny.

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