An Am I Drunk? checklist
[X] bought an olde english
[X] stopped working (pretext: taking a break)
[X] needed to stop drinking for nausea reasons
[X] texted ex boyfriend (omg he texted back we are besties!)
[X] drained a 7.5% 24oz beer
[X] checked percentage printed on can two times before typing that line
[X] wait, I just drooled on my blanket on purpose to remove excess saliva from my mouth.
[ ] typos
[ ] asking ex if he thinks we should totally get back together because I totally love him
[X] also I just realized this is not how a checklist works.