Growing Up

I remember when I was little seeing my parents scramble to conceal the messy details of our lives before any of my grandparents came for a visit. Dishes washed, plastic placemats replaced with cloth ones, laundry put away, candles out. It sounds simple but they would worry for days and days about getting everything in order. I remember thinking that I couldn't imagine having my parents so removed from my daily life that cleaning before a weekend twice a year would change their whole perception of my lifestyle. I especially couldn't believe that my mom could stand to be away from her sisters, since they seemed to have so much fun together at thanksgiving. I spent every afternoon with Nick and woke up every day in my parents' house and couldn't really consider how that could change.

And now it has. I invite them down to Santa Cruz just about every time I see them, and they don't come. I called my mom to talk the other day and she didn't call me back. I know I'm going to Thanksgiving with friends of the family but I don't know what my parents are doing because they didn't rsvp on facebook. I think one or both of them might come down to my school's open studios in December, but usually they say I did not give them enough notice. My mom mails me things sometimes, and she always asks for my address. And yeah, it changes a lot, but I tell her each time I move.

I still tell them my good news and my bad news, but they don't know all my news. Like, I bought gym pants last night. And there was a hailstorm and I saw lightning. And ants got in my room. And I have a new favorite kind of salad. And my house mate crashed her car and now I'm scared to drive in the rain.

This is a picture of Nicholas growing up and me grown up. And I guess that was predictable, but I didn't predict it.