Bitter

When did I get bitter? Last I heard, I was an 18 year old idealist, painfully and obviously naive (people can be a little harsh). And last time *I* checked I was a bit of an optimist, happily knitting woolen socks and sculpting the things I saw in my dreams and confident that the misanthropists I encounter are simply having bad days.

I'm not really comfortable with Lily Allen's "Not Big" as my personal theme song, but it has been for weeks. Really? Mine? "I'm sorry if you feel that I'm being kinda mental, but you left me in such a state- now I'm gonna do to you what you did to me, gonna reciprocate." Really? I remember rather liking people, on the whole. "You're not big, you're not clever- not big whatsoever." Well. There it is. And not as a response to a breakup or whatever, just as a general outlook, applying equally well to life and to humanity. Really?



You know, "Ooh, Flowers! Picture time! Daddy will you take my picture, too?" Not "Eff this, I can't believe I'm wearing heels to a garden tour. I can't believe I'm ON a garden tour."