Possessions Project

Well tracing everything I like to carry is going well. I ran out of paper but I can get more in the art department tommorow. I think I only need 2 more pages. Here is everything, purse, swim bag, and laptop bag. It is pretty big. This will, unless I think of something else, be on the wall behind my big yellow luggage.
this is the minimal amount of stuff I feel I need to carry about. It should be "housekeys" while I am on campus with no plans to go off. I don't mean that's all I should carry each day, but that it is a good bare minimum. I can walk home, borrow a pen from the classroom or from someone, and I can come home and get my id if I need to go to the dining hall. Still, the contrast with the 8 pages of comfort stuff is good I think.
This is unrelated. But a lady Bevin who blogs at queer fat femme does this face in like all her pictures (and after I said that I scrolled through 2 pages of her blog without finding that expression, maybe she is over it) and I think it is really good so I am taking it. Like, I am in an okay mood right now but if I make that face I look like I am super excited! And it is really just smiling with my mouth way open.

Tiny Purse Test Run

Today I did a test of my project of having a yellow and pink luggage to cart around when I want Safety and a tiny yellow and pink purse to carry around when I want Freedom. For the test I found the tiniest bag I had, a camera case on a string, and put in only the things I could not bear to leave my house for a 3 hour class half a mile from my dorm. And it was a lot of stuff I crammed into that case. My phone, a print card, spare print card, and a dollar in coins as a backup to the print cards, my id, and a candy wrapper i had left in the strap part of the case for probably years, plus keys on their lanyard and a pen. And on the way to class with my newly pared down things I felt nice. A bit like when I threw away all of my pants. I am having a stronger patch of anxiety this past few days so that contributed negatively.

And I realized when I was almost to the library that in addition to wearing the case on its strap i was holding it in my hand in front of me. Because it was so light, and to make sure it was there. And I let myself do that because I was adjusting. It made me feel a bit less naked. And I had everything I needed, between the library and my 2 art classrooms. Then I remembered I had left some things in my luggage this morning when I drove down from Oakland, and the luggage was in my other art class because I used it to carry my art supplies. So on my first minimalist excursion I had to carry a bag of tortillas and a bottle of nail polish remover and a backup bottle of nail polish remover and all the rest of my toiletries. But I traced all of the toiletries and I will use them for the backdrop for the luggage because sometimes I carry that case in my swim bag if I am in a hurry and don't want to find just lotion, shampoo, and conditioner.

Finishing my Sculpture

I didn't know what to do with my womb, how to expand it for the rest of term. I had the startling realization that I don't want a womb to be safe in, after thinking for years (13 years that I have kept track of) that I would love a little safe space I found out that is not valuable to me. So I thought about incorporating that realization into the piece. Then I started thinking about how much being in that womb made me want to break free. And so giving myself that, that 34 hours of work to render a dream that I then didn't respond to the way I expected to, freed me. I felt uncertain what to do with the freedom. Maybe I could make another womb?

By the time proposals were due i had come up with making armor and a tiny purse, and I would let myself wear the armor (yellow fleece and pink faux fur) if I needed it, but with the awareness that that was over the top, and the purse (the same fleece and fur) was enough if I didn't need a crutch. My crit group didn't really get it because it was a very underdeveloped idea, so I decided to just start. And I traced everything I had in my test tiny purse, and it filled a large sheet of paper. And so that represented the minimum burden i was comfortable with. And then after class I started on the task of tracing everything I carry on a normal school day. I carry in addition to any books or papers or art supplies, a medium purse full of crap, a laptop bag, and lately a tote bag with my swimming stuff and a snack. I got through the purse part in pencil and partway inked. The rest can be tommorow. And so anyway, I realized instead of armor which is abstract I can have more literal luggage, pink and yellow oversized luggage. So I can have my possession crutches but I have to acknowlege the silliness of it with the luggage. Or, if I don't want to carry it about, I can travel with an appropriate amount of stuff in the tiny purse. So I think I am happy with this. I will get feedback weds
here is my sketch of the installation. the traced contents are on the wall, the luggage and purse on the wall or floor, and the womb is also displayed in the area.

here are two of the 9 pages I will have. the left page is not labeled yet but it will be. 8 of the pages are the luggage contents (well really my usual daily load. I think the luggage might be empty for display.) and one is the contents of the tiny purse. And these will be on the wall behind the purse and luggage.

So it is a way to acknowledge that my commitment to carrying my belongings for any eventuality is absurd, without taking the crutch away from me on days that I need it to feel comfortable.

Copyright

So I was on the internet today, listening to lady gaga on the youtube, and someone combated potential copyright backlash (usually youtube deleting the video) by writing "NO COPYRIGHT" on it.
So I was like, wow. I guess copyright issues will get handled if people just get loads dumber. I put a print screen of it in paint to put in my blog with some complaining about why no one likes to be clever. Then my phone rang, and I answered it, and when I hung up I was like "why is my music off?" and tried twice to click on the play button in my paint document.

Back to Figure Drawing

I took Intro To Drawing a year ago, and my drawing got so good! And then I barely drew anything, at least not as an exercise in seeing and drawing but more to convey my thoughts. Last night I had time to go to drop in figure drawing, and it was really good!
I did all of these in one sitting. They look really different because I was flailing, trying to get my hands to remember what to do.


ink and brush is my favorite way to draw.
I rotated all of these, but I must have just rotated the preview.

Here is the pool

(Also this post has a picture of the middle of my chest, so if that would be weird for you to look at, skip the second picture.) This is my pool where I swim. It is overexposed, yeah? Maybe a hint that I shouldn't lay in the sun for an hour? But it was so lovely! And I swim for an hour, so it is the same almost.

:( first sunburn of the year.
It looks exactly like my burn from last summer, including that my armpit got burned from keeping my arm over my face.
Glare! Massive amounts of sunshine! Need to wear a shirt the next few times I go swimming!
It surprises me that the occupancy isn't split by swimming and watching, like it is split in the dining hall for eating and assemblies.

womb sculpture

I am making a rather fantastic object. It is a womb space. I planned it to have a red fleece outside and a pink fleece inside but the red and pink fleece at beverly's looked terrible. I found a beautiful purple fleece to use, but nothing to go with it until I found 2 yards of faux fur. The fur clung to me from static when I picked it up, and then all I had to decide was which piece of fabric to put on the inside and which the outside. I had been really committed to having a hidden brightness inside the womb but the geometric potential of the fleece and the tactile potential of the fur made it work better the other way around.

Here it is upside down, how I am working on it:
It is a little more than half done with the sewing- all around the perimeter and tacked down at some other points.

In these pictures it looks beautiful with the open side up... I will find out tomorrow whether in looks beautiful the way it is intended.
I just like this object so much. It is super different than my plan (made from wool and shaped like a banana and hung from the ceiling) but I love it. When I am done showing it I am going to keep it on my bed and hide in it all the time.