I um, have a diploma from it. And I think since UCSC admitted me and I am a junior there, it is kind of irrelevant. But I was trying to make sense of my amazingly convoluted transcript, and I am not totally sure I took enough math to graduate.
First let me sort of describe how complicated it is: My transcript starts with two electives taken the summer before I started 9th grade. I am sure I took them then, because I had never met any of the students or teachers, and at a school of 100 people I would certainly have known them all if it was August of 2004, which was *after* my freshman year, which is what the transcript says. My first college class is listed as Merritt College Grd 09 8/2004. Now, that is indeed when I took that course, although there was a whole thing about never taking a course until you were a sophomore, aka entering sophomore year. And sophomore=Grd 10.
Only 3 classes are completely missing from my transcript:Enterprise:BASE, Composition, and Geometry. I took an academic elective at BASE my entire senior year, and never noticed that it is missing from this transcript. I have my Peralta college transcript here as well, and it says I took Composition and Reading Spring 2007, and that is definitely not on my transcript. Of course (of course) I got an A in it, and an A in my academic elective. and, ugh, I did hundreds of hours of BASE community service that I guess I thought would just, you know, carry over, but my community service is listed as "total 0.00 required 20.00". No, for sure, the 18 year old high schooler should be responsible for extracting that info from one counselor to the other. Foooor Suuuuure. Most annoying is the ommission of my Geometry class that I suddenly had to take, and thus took, for 1 semester in grade 12.
Which brings me to the reason I forgive my effed up, convoluted transcript- I rather think I did not take enough math to actually graduate*. I need 30 units, and the summary says I got 30 units... yeah, maybe.
Grade 09 Algebra 1 Mark A Credit 5.00
Grade 09 Geometry Mark A Credit 5.00
Grade 10 Algebra 2 Mark B Credit 5.00
Grade 10 Algebra 2 Mark A Credit 5.00
Laney College Grd 11 H Inter Algebra Lab Mark B Credit 5.00
Grade 12 H Precalculus HP Mark W Credit ---
Grade 12 Algebra 1 Mark A- Credit 5.00
Alright. So looking at that. There are 10 credits in an yearlong course, which each of those is. So I don't see how I can get any credit at all for accumulating more than 10 credits in anything. So. 5 and 5 credits in Algebra 1. 10. 5 and 5 credits in Algebra 2. 20. 5 credits in Geometry. 25. I am not a genius of math. Ohhh no. And I have not taken any math since 2007**. But 25<30. I am so sure. Now, if my magically dissappeared 5 credits of Geometry from senior year were there somewhere, that would make 30. But they are not there, they are magically dissappeared. I think I instead have got credit for that Laney College Grd 11 Inter Algebra Lab there. A semester worth of credit. Now, that can't count because Algebra 2 is Intermediate Algebra, and I already had what must be the maximum credit for that. Anyway, I believe I signed up for the class, took like one test, and then was told the units were not UC/CSU transferable and I was not allowed to take it under the district concurrent enrollment policy. So I stopped going. My Peralta transcript says I attempted 1 unit per semester from Fall 2005-Summer 2006, and that the only one I got credit for (1 credit, not 5) is Spring 2006. On my ACLC transcript this morphs from 1 credit to 5.
Did you Know? You can't just let teenagers do whatever they want. Even if what they want is to go to charter school and be in Venture Crew and learn Japanese and Biology at Community College and be kind to animals and the environment. Sometimes you have to be strict with children and make them follow an established path and be in harmony with the world, instead of just doing what they want and making it right after the fact. This transcript is terrible, but it is also sort of telling. Well. You can't tell from the transcript because it is flawed, but comparing it to my Peralta and Diablo Valley College transcripts and my absolute certainty that I took an academic elective at BASE that year, I attended a total of 6 schools in one academic year. That is stupid. That is so completely weird. I was so very bored with highschool by then, but still. I attended Laney College (for that Intermediate Algebra I got 0.00 units for, but it is still on my cc record.), Merritt College, College of Alameda, Diablo Valley College, the Bay Area School of Enterprise, and Alameda Community Learning Center. How completely absurd. No wonder the guidance counselor couldn't work it out. No one needs to go to 4 colleges in their 12th grade year.
Total Credits Required: 230 Total Credits completed: 354
Academic GPA 3.714
Class rank is 4 of 22
*Or enough PE. I am listed as taking Independent Study PE at ACLC in Grade 11 and getting a C in it. No, I did not go to ACLC in Grade 11. Everything is stupid.
** And it was Algebra 1, and I had already taken Algebra 2 at college and I still got an A-. And it was a freshman class, but nonetheless most of the class was in grade 7. Oh yes. And Nick, who is 5 years, 5, younger than me, and was in grade 7, was in the class with me. (Which I said was fine, since shit, I was only attending that class and Communications, aka once weekly announcements+icebreaker. Everything else was at college, at BASE, or independent study. So, I mean, if it made him happy, why not? At the time, I did not understand why the teacher was so concerned. I tried to explain that it is really okay if I don't have high status amongst the 7th graders. They already didn't like me that much because I was not in the pi recitation contest, for which the prize was a pie. I like pi, I told them, but not pie.) AND OUR TEACHER FOR IT CARLTON WAS TEACHER OF THE YEAR FINALIST AND MY OLD PRE ALGEBRA TEACHER FROM GRADE 7 MS. ELKIN WAS THE PRIOR TEACHER OF THE YEAR AND OMG SHE CAME TO CLASS WHILE I WAS THERE TO CONGRATULATE HIM OR SOMETHING AND SHE WAS LIKE "YOU MEAN TO TELL ME YOU HAVE NEVER PASSED AN ALGEBRA CLASS?" All shocked, like that was unheard of. And I was like, um, everyoneassumedIwouldgettheneccessarycreditsfromprecalcbutIwasn'tpassingitandsothey
putmeheretoearnsomecredits. And then I died.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Ephemera is like trash, but trash that you love.
After doing some collage grounds for art, I have decided to use a lot of little paper scraps that I have as integrated background for my art. Some things, like a little phone message ticket from my first highschool that has my name, the period, and whatever the purpose of me being called out of class for, were trash the day I got them and are only interesting to me as weird little mementos of the past. Other things, like my El Pollo Loco nametags, used to be functional and now they fill the same memento time capsuley messy category. So, in addition to the binder and box of paper ephemera I have kept, I am allowing myself an ephemera bin. It is about the size of a shoebox. I think it will be good to have it all in one place, since right now if I want to find singleton earrings, a fortune telling cellophane fish, odd lengths of ribbons, I have to look all over my drawers. So. 
Ephemera is a weirdly irreplaceable substance. It is the stuff you would probably only be excited about if you found a bin of it after being a castaway, or having it sealed in the attic for decades. But at the same time, for me at least, it gets a little bit more precious the older it gets. Do I have a use for the coffin my $2 vampire fangs came in? Well, not so far. But I have only held onto them since October.
What a flattering picture. In this picture I am wearing entirely clothes that I found while cleaning, my nail polish has been partially scraped off from where I tested an old nail polish I found, you can see the corner of my art couch and my crappy brown couch, and my skin looks like it is May in Norway. It is Mai there, which is the same thing. I meant, if I were in Norway, experiencing Mai. Anyway, this is a picture of what I made my mom for mother's day.
I wonder whether my parents love me. I think that they used to. I think they think I am fun and interesting. But they are kind of busy with their lives. They have come to visit me 3 times, I think, in the 2 years I have lived away from home. They got rid of my room, rented it out, basically the month I moved out. But now there is a mattress in a loft. And Nicholas is much better at vocally demanding attention than I am. Mom talked about homeschooling us both (in an RV, traveling to museums and state parks for a year) but Nick is the one they actually homeschooled, and took to Utah for a family backpacking trip. ... That trip coincided with me desperately needing to move and having to figure it out by myself. With my cell phone turned off, because they did not pay it while they were gone. Also with no car.
No, I know, I am old and stuff. And independent. They don't know what my address is, and ask for it every time they mail something. It is really just that there is a distorted standard for parenting for Baby Boomers because so many make their children into their little projects and spoil them and whatever.
See, looking at all my ephemera and thinking about Mother's day and whatever has made me morose. Spring cleaning is in spring so the weather will make you happy. But it is still cold and wet here. Well, I guess I have to carry on cleaning.
Ephemera is a weirdly irreplaceable substance. It is the stuff you would probably only be excited about if you found a bin of it after being a castaway, or having it sealed in the attic for decades. But at the same time, for me at least, it gets a little bit more precious the older it gets. Do I have a use for the coffin my $2 vampire fangs came in? Well, not so far. But I have only held onto them since October.
What a flattering picture. In this picture I am wearing entirely clothes that I found while cleaning, my nail polish has been partially scraped off from where I tested an old nail polish I found, you can see the corner of my art couch and my crappy brown couch, and my skin looks like it is May in Norway. It is Mai there, which is the same thing. I meant, if I were in Norway, experiencing Mai. Anyway, this is a picture of what I made my mom for mother's day.I wonder whether my parents love me. I think that they used to. I think they think I am fun and interesting. But they are kind of busy with their lives. They have come to visit me 3 times, I think, in the 2 years I have lived away from home. They got rid of my room, rented it out, basically the month I moved out. But now there is a mattress in a loft. And Nicholas is much better at vocally demanding attention than I am. Mom talked about homeschooling us both (in an RV, traveling to museums and state parks for a year) but Nick is the one they actually homeschooled, and took to Utah for a family backpacking trip. ... That trip coincided with me desperately needing to move and having to figure it out by myself. With my cell phone turned off, because they did not pay it while they were gone. Also with no car.
No, I know, I am old and stuff. And independent. They don't know what my address is, and ask for it every time they mail something. It is really just that there is a distorted standard for parenting for Baby Boomers because so many make their children into their little projects and spoil them and whatever.
See, looking at all my ephemera and thinking about Mother's day and whatever has made me morose. Spring cleaning is in spring so the weather will make you happy. But it is still cold and wet here. Well, I guess I have to carry on cleaning.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Finding the Car in a lot
Now, when you get a particular car, or haircut, or anything, you will start to see it all over. You are just paying more attention or something. But, there really are a lot of tan compact cars. Sooooo many. I am not sure whether most cars are tan compact cars, but certainly at the grocery store I see dozens of them, all over. On campus, where the east and west remote lots are like 1/2 a mile long, there is almost no chance I will find my car. I wander sadly near the tree or bus stop I remember parking near, clicking my car unlock fob, hoping that the car will light up.
So I arted my car up, just a tiny, tiny bit, but it is enough. I wanted not to hurt the paint, so I had to stick vinyl to the windows, and there are only little portions that you are permitted to put stickers on. (5" square on the driver's side windsheild lower corner closest to driver, 7" square on the rear window farthest from driver, I think 5" on the rear window lower corner closest to driver, and AFAIK the entire side window behind the driver. That is what the DMV website said.
I did not realize how dark the rear window would be. I think the panda needs something, I have not decided. If I had a silver sharpie I would outline it on the vinyl.
So I arted my car up, just a tiny, tiny bit, but it is enough. I wanted not to hurt the paint, so I had to stick vinyl to the windows, and there are only little portions that you are permitted to put stickers on. (5" square on the driver's side windsheild lower corner closest to driver, 7" square on the rear window farthest from driver, I think 5" on the rear window lower corner closest to driver, and AFAIK the entire side window behind the driver. That is what the DMV website said.
I did not realize how dark the rear window would be. I think the panda needs something, I have not decided. If I had a silver sharpie I would outline it on the vinyl.
Sociology
I had to do a Sketch about my Sociological Awareness, of something i had never ever realized sociologically until this very week, for my Issues and Problems in American Society Sociology class. (It is a rather broad class, and this week we are reading about CA public schools.) You don't have to read it. It is very exploratory and everything. It reminded me of something I have wanted to write in my blog for awhile, namely how glad I am to attend UCSC and what a good fit it is for me. So, first the exploratory sketch, in light green, and then my musings on UCSC. And perhaps someday I shall actually be interesting.
My new sociological awareness for this week was that the middle class is really on the poor side, in terms of being able to afford important things like college and housing simultaneously, particularly during a recession. I was talking to some friends about our summer and next school year plans. We all managed fees this year fine because of loans and everything, but next year is going to be so much less certain and harder. My Dad is under employed and Mom is newly unemployed, but at least we have tenants in our house, and I have found a full time job for summer. So I think I will carry on barely having enough money, at least if Mom finds something by next fall. But my friends have no federal aid, and have private loans that are not going to be continued for next year. That is so terrible. I don’t really understand how people with incomes above the aid ceiling can’t afford college out of pocket, but apparently the ceiling is too low. The other thing is that it seems from our presence on campus that we are in fact able to pay tuition, and it is just people in high school and community college and in the work force for whom tuition is a barrier to higher education, and that is not always the case. I was in juggling club at Cowell Field when I had this discussion. It is a really beautiful place to juggle, and it is fun because you always run into people you know walking down the path there, and some of my friends got to try a unicycle for the first time. Well, juggling is from 3:30-6:30, and when I went to Soc section afterward I totally agreed that the state should help more to pay for higher education. So that was a little change. I don’t know what a bigger change can be. Maybe if community colleges were made more rigorous and engaging so people could go there for the first half of their college. I know people are technically already able to do that, but in my experience that is not a real solution: I went to 4 community colleges when I was in highschool (because it is totally free, instead of almost free! Also if you didn’t take courses there or at UC Berkeley you had to attend the whole school day, which felt like jail to me) and except for one course (Japanese 2 at Diablo Valley College) nothing was at all rigorous. And if something is not rigorous for a 15 year old highschool sophomore*, how is it supposed to prepare someone for the UCs or another 4 year college? So there is not even a real low cost option for people who want to transfer. Maybe I will do a presentation at my old highschool about how easy and manageable community college during highschool is. That would not really solve anything, but it would mean some people have a few fewer units to pay for at four year school. *In our district no one was allowed to take classes at community college until the summer before sophomore year of highschool. At the time I just thought that was frustrating and unfair, but in retrospect it was probably because it would be embarrassing to the community colleges to have 7th graders or something passing their courses.
My new sociological awareness for this week was that the middle class is really on the poor side, in terms of being able to afford important things like college and housing simultaneously, particularly during a recession. I was talking to some friends about our summer and next school year plans. We all managed fees this year fine because of loans and everything, but next year is going to be so much less certain and harder. My Dad is under employed and Mom is newly unemployed, but at least we have tenants in our house, and I have found a full time job for summer. So I think I will carry on barely having enough money, at least if Mom finds something by next fall. But my friends have no federal aid, and have private loans that are not going to be continued for next year. That is so terrible. I don’t really understand how people with incomes above the aid ceiling can’t afford college out of pocket, but apparently the ceiling is too low. The other thing is that it seems from our presence on campus that we are in fact able to pay tuition, and it is just people in high school and community college and in the work force for whom tuition is a barrier to higher education, and that is not always the case. I was in juggling club at Cowell Field when I had this discussion. It is a really beautiful place to juggle, and it is fun because you always run into people you know walking down the path there, and some of my friends got to try a unicycle for the first time. Well, juggling is from 3:30-6:30, and when I went to Soc section afterward I totally agreed that the state should help more to pay for higher education. So that was a little change. I don’t know what a bigger change can be. Maybe if community colleges were made more rigorous and engaging so people could go there for the first half of their college. I know people are technically already able to do that, but in my experience that is not a real solution: I went to 4 community colleges when I was in highschool (because it is totally free, instead of almost free! Also if you didn’t take courses there or at UC Berkeley you had to attend the whole school day, which felt like jail to me) and except for one course (Japanese 2 at Diablo Valley College) nothing was at all rigorous. And if something is not rigorous for a 15 year old highschool sophomore*, how is it supposed to prepare someone for the UCs or another 4 year college? So there is not even a real low cost option for people who want to transfer. Maybe I will do a presentation at my old highschool about how easy and manageable community college during highschool is. That would not really solve anything, but it would mean some people have a few fewer units to pay for at four year school. *In our district no one was allowed to take classes at community college until the summer before sophomore year of highschool. At the time I just thought that was frustrating and unfair, but in retrospect it was probably because it would be embarrassing to the community colleges to have 7th graders or something passing their courses.
I applied to 3 schools. I was ranked 6th in my highschool graduating class, got 1970 or something on my SATs, and had 48 college credits between AP exams and community college classes, with a 3.4 college average and something like a 3.8 gpa in highschool. So, pretty good. Not like I was obsessed with school or my GPA, but stats that reflect that I am smart, test pretty well, and love to learn new things and find opportunities to gain knowledge. I was pretty sure I would get in everywhere, because I am smart. I did not want to go to a small school, bc I did that to death in highschool. Twice. I wanted to go to a public school, because of the cost. I did not want to go to a CSU because Mom did and it just seemed like I wouldn't enjoy the courses because they would not be academic enough. So. Berkeley, San Diego, and Santa Cruz. San Diego said no, Berkeley said nothing (there was probably some sort of followup I was supposed to do, like a web portal or something.), and Santa Cruz said yes. So. That made the decision quite straightforward. Should I go to Santa Cruz, or finish getting an Associates degree and apply everywhere again? I picked Santa Cruz because even though I sort of got a lot out of community college, at the same time I knew that it would not be hard enough, rewarding enough, or fun enough.
My first 2 quarters were rough. I lived miles from campus with no good way of getting to school and back. My commute by bike was unsafe, a fact that was reinforced by all of the roadkill I saw every day, and the time a car hit me. And it was uncomfortably wet and cold, especially after my mandatory freshman class that got out at 9 pm on tuesdays. I wouldn't get home until around 11:30, because after 9 the bus to Felton is infrequent. It was also rough because I was not savvy enough to navigate the course schedule, and ended up taking (and passing with a D) upper division political science and upper division art history (B+! Yay!) completely unaware that they were not intro level, only caring that the descriptions looked interesting. I had a hard time getting any job interviews, partly because I could not work nights, or get to SC very early, especially on weekends, because of the Felton bus schedule. I for some reason thought that getting a degree in business management and economics was a really good, fun idea. So. It was not all that smooth, and it was not all that easy. I needed much more support than I was able to access.
But I am really glad I am here. I think it is the exact perfect school for me. Setting, rigor, students, distance from home, strength of the art department, variety of non art courses offered (yay for intro science courses for non science majors!) everything. I was going to say more about how this year all of my classes seem just designed for me, for the way I think and the pace I can work at (10 week quarters, 3 classes per quarter), but I feel kind of drained from writing about frosh year. So, I guess I will just say that I feel really thankful that I ended up here and that I will hopefully be able to carry on straight through to graduation.
If it's not cross stitch, it's not binding.
Well, it is the weekend. And the weekend is when I said I would get everything sorted. My desk still has the price tag on because I was so pleased to find a desk (at goodwill) for $12. Imagine how messy this was before I had a desk! Oh dear. In the interest of accountability:-Laundry
-re sorting my drawers (it is sad, but because I have 4 matching aluminum boxes and 4 identical ikea drawers, I tend just to shove things back in one at random. Then after a few days of blending, even if i try to put things back properly it is impossible. "Wait, do my juggling balls belong in the single gray sock, single rainbow sock, lemonade powder, rubber cement, and umbrella bin, or not?" I suppose I should make little labels for them.
-make labels for drawers
- go through the house closets and do a general inventory/find things to go to the attic when I go home next weekend
-clear out the fridge/freezer
-make a grocery list (ugh. Today I was downtown at the post office and I thought I'd do my TJs shopping, but I couldn't remember anything I needed except salad.)
-Absolutely put in 5+ hours studying for midterms Sat, Sun, and Monday.
Thursday, April 30, 2009
I am actually blogging about my fingernails.
I can not even believe how boring and trivial that is. If I am this boring as an art student, I wonder how boring I will be as a middle aged person. (It is not ageist. Middle aged people routinely have midlife crises from the pressure and boredom of their lives and commitments. Not all of them, but definitely the Writing About Trimming My Fingernails crowd gets in too much of a rut by like 45, and then they crack.)
Okay. I have long awesome strong nails. All the time. They grow fast, I clip them only every week or so, and they are really nice colors and have nice nail beds and smile lines, such that covering them with nail polish makes them less pretty.
When I was a cellist this was a problem, because you are supposed to use your fingertip, not your finger pad, to press down properly and do vibrato and whatever. The last time I had nails as short as right now was when I was 14 and my cello teacher refused to start teaching me vibrato until I cut them all the way down. Having to press on the metal wrapped strings with my newly exposed nerve endings was so bad. Just, soooo bad. So I never did it again.
Fast Forward six years! My nails got so so bad. Catching the unicycle messes up my right middle and index fingernail. I have to wash my hands a lot in art class. And I have started nervously putting my left thumbnail, middle fingernail, index fingernail between my teeth and twisting. I am not biting them off, but it makes them split. I have been wearing nail polish just to make my nails a little reinforced. Today I broke my left middle fingernail while closing my trunk. (I also hit myself in the chin closing my car door today. The back of my chin. That is how jawtastic I am.) I kind of think there might be a nutritional deficit in play. Maybe I should buy a multi vitamin, because I am doing my best already at balanced but low effort meals.
Today since I had two totally broken off nail tips I cut my nails on those fingers All the Way Down. Then I cut off all my other nails (I am so bored right now. I am sorry.). Then I cut them down even farther, until the smile line became too small a length to be discussed in terms of millimeters. They are like .35 millimeters. I ran my fingers through my hair- gah. Skin crawling. My fingertips are too sensitive. It's like if someone peeled off all my skin and then I hopped in the shower. Too intense. You can see the ends of my fingers way out past the nail. It is weird.
I care kind of a lot about nails, actually. I have reviewed all of my nail polishes on makeupalley.org (My username is calisparkle, which I believe I chose facetiously. It's ironic, see, because I live in a beach town in california, right, and I have an affinity for shimmery or sparkly body lotion, mist, bronzer, and whatever.) I am so fixated on my nails that I have done a sketch for an abstracted portrait of my thumbs.
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