Ice Skating as an Adult

I love to be a beginner at things. Gives me that brushing-your-teeth-with-the-opposite-hand feeling of concentrating on something new. 

Stepping into the Oakland Ice Center off the street it’s a little cool, but go through the inner glass doors and it gets crisp. This is one of the highlights of the rink. I run hot so I’m always like… trying to find long sleeve weightless clothes so I look fully dressed in winter… walking my dog in the evening so the 68 degree noon sun doesn’t fry me… getting my undershirt wet in the sink so I can hang in there at work… I only do fitness that is cold (rink, bay swimming) cool (hiking in shade, pool swimming) or breezy (biking).

The rink has such a festive feeling. Kids are so excited to be there, swinging their enskated feet while their parent gets another tiny child dressed for the ice. Screaming for their mother whom they can see as if in an aquarium, serenely gliding across the ice. Dad explaining that yes, mom is right there, see? 

I stretch but I don’t really trust the rubber floor (I think it's meant to be sticky and black...) so I don’t do my whole splits progression. Sitting on a vinyl wrapped bench and stretching while the zamboni whirs past, all bliss. 

Then onto the ice.

 

 A small woman sends us to the wall to await instructions. The instructions sound like nothing. Nothing could be less like instructions than what she says. If you skate, imagine the reverb off the stadium ceiling as she says,

 "***, *eh***** ** ***. In two groups." 

If you don't skate, imagine an intermittent booming sound of people hitting a plastic panel with their entire bodies in an all metal stadium. You crane to hear the instructor, who is skating backwards away from you whispering a nonsense word- twizzle, swizzle, slalom. You try to match the word with the part of what the instructor is doing (zipping around) that she wants you to do, and then translate that into what your own body might do, while also crossing the ice in a reasonable length of time to stay with the group. She skates up to me personally and tells me I don't have to "do the arms" I could not tell what she was doing to copy it but later found out it is ballet fifth position. All these times in ballet I was thinking about, what? How long port de bras was taking? Whether we had to do the little routine a second time through? How many minutes were left in class? When I could have been thanking God for the studio floor my feet were planted on. 

We go through our paces forward and backward, on both feet or alternating feet, in one group or two groups. Blessedly we break into groups. My feet hurt like torture and I hunch over them different ways trying alternately to get them to release or to relieve the pressure on them. I join the large group, thinking the small group will be the best skaters. Listening to the things they are working on "not jumps! Just edges!" The skaters insist- I realize I may have hobbled over to the advanced class. It turns out this is where you go forever as an adult skater, whereas I want the group you progress through. I glide to the intermediate group, holding my breath and putting as much of my weight as possible on my hands on the barricade to lessen the pressure on my feet. 

Dripping in sweat and run ragged, I am gasping for breath. Well not gasping. Emotionally gasping. My front facing camera reports that I look like I am not having a medical emergency, and that after ten minutes of stretching I have not unclenched my toes. 

Kayak Dreams

 've been lifeguarding for almost ten years of summers- it's great to be out in the sun, helping people, on the water- but, leaving guarding means there is a gap between what I'd like to do, and what I have gear for. I actually already got kicking around in the bay with a piece of foam from the hardware store out of my system, so now I begin the wonderful trial and error of figuring out what I want in a personal vessel. 

SUPER fortunately I have a folding kayak already, the Tucktec. I have no complaints as a way to get out on the water. It's not meant for use in the ocean and I have found it risks flooding in the bay. I thought this wouldn't bother me and it's true that I am quite happy to tow a kayak around while I swim, but the thing about being a distressed boater is the other water users have to check on you. I haven't experimented too much lately because the dog loves to lounge in the sun in the kayak so we've just been taking it to flat water. 

This all means that I have no way to get out into and past the surf except to run out there. From a previous abalone dive I learned that getting past the kelp at Jenner is a ton of work on a normal dive float, which otherwise would seem like nearly the perfect thing. 

I do also have a surf board made of foam in the poor man's fiberglass/foamies method. I used a chart to calculate the size and should be floating me but it doesn't. So it's kind of just hanging around. I think it would make a good table or shelf since it is 8 feet long and something like 18" wide. Potentially, it could be the base of a kayak. One issue is that it is two feet shorter than the tucktec, shorter is slower, and the other problem with the tucktec besides surf is that it is so much work to paddle. 

Casting a kind of wide research net, I found the origami paddler takes another approach to most of the same problems- portability, speed, cost- and uses a very different approach to arrive at a similar outcome. 

Before beginning this research of seriously getting a kayak I thought a sit-on-top is inferior. And it isn't what you are crossing the Bering Strait in probably. But as a place to rest between snorkeling and paddling in to shore- the safety and utility of a watertight, floating lump is incredible. I am not sure if this Perception Kayak is fully enclosed- the ads show kids hanging on the little decks while an adult paddles. 

The Royak is another solution to this problem. It looks ideal. I was only discouraged by transportation. Honestly even if you lived a few blocks from the beach, or a flight of stairs from the beach, this seems like a lot. And I live far enough from the beach to take the freeway. 

Although the perfect kayak has not turned up in the trunk of my car yet, I feel confident that when the right one comes along, I will recognize it. 
 

Hockey Price Check

 I've been thinking of getting into hockey. I love underwater hockey but it's quite far from home- I'm sure there are hundreds of people worldwide who would jump at the chance to drive an hour to reach two different teams but I find myself tired before I even get out the door. I think the experience of studying underwater hockey rules (I do try to improve it just doesn't come naturally to me) has let me follow professional hockey. Every time we go to a game I wish I was on the ice. Not playing necessarily. But if there was a skating intermission so we could stretch our legs, that would be ideal. 

I try not to put artificial obstacles in my own way. If I want to play hockey, I can make that happen. But the barriers! First, I live near a rink. It has hockey. It has women's hockey. So now the only things I need to handle are gear, scheduling, and not knowing how to play. I set a budget for this of $500. As in, how could it cost more than a couple hundred dollars to play a rec sport as an adult? Better double it to have some cushion. Through research I found out that $500 was not double the starting cost of playing hockey. 

Okay. The rink wants me to wear "full gear." Our local lakes have never, ever frozen so I will be playing indoors if at all. I don't know what constitutes full gear but probably head to toe coverage. 

Starting with my beloved face and head, $75 to protect it seems super reasonable. 

Moving on to skates- because I am a beginner I have to choose basically a pair to learn what I like and don't like. I don't worry about women's skates and my street shoe size puts me in "intermediate" sizes. This is lucky for cost because senior skates, which start at around Women's US10, are about 30% pricier in the same model. 

So for mystery skates plus head protection it is $245, still under budget. 

Here we get into the part I particularly don't want to wear, carry, store, care for, pay for- the protective equipment. I visualize the frozen/flooded backyard that I could tool around on by myself if I had it. I double check that I am not overlooking a source of frozen/flooded backyard. 

At $269, shinguards and other guards bring the total to $514. Budget ruined, with no gloves, stick, sales tax, or hockey classes. 

I do think this is still doable. Instead of starting on the ice I am going to spectate for a little while and see what I can learn from women who are already playing. To me, it is better to rule out a hobby than to add another halfheartedly. Why don't I go to the archery range? I love archery. Why don't I go to underwater hockey? I just need to build an errand into my day so that I am already in the same city as the pool and then I will go. And, why don't I get a little better at skating, either ice skating or roller blading? 

The Long View

 Recently everything is so cheap and low quality. My new laptop broke within a week- it has a micro thin glass panel that does nothing and cracked when I closed a bead inside the laptop, which, yes, I should have noticed I dropped a bead, but why was there a micro thin glass panel that does nothing, right at the hinge?

 Clothes are also so cheap and ugly right now. It is normal to be able to see a butt which is inside of pants. I am dated now because of my belief that the butt should be obscured by clothes, not like in every situation forever but as the default. I am even more alone in my similar belief about the belly. I think no more than one in ten shirts for sale should show one's stomach. It is not bad to show but it's one of the main places I want covered for privacy and comfort if I am going to be wearing a shirt or a sweater. I did buy a sweater that just covered from wrists to collarbone but I never got used to it and now I am back dressing from my closet.

This all came up sort of suddenly.  So, I've been naturally using what I have- the dream! And once absolutely sick of What I Have I have been shopping used and vintage like it's my job. 

Much has been said about the typewriter along the lines of you can see it working. It truly doesn't get in the way of writing the way an internet enabled device does. Theoretically I am transcribing my typed pages into Microsoft word so they'll be shareable and editable but I only did one so far. 

My Dad's calculator from the 1970s. Same as above, I prefer not to be doing my arithmetic on the cell phone screen because I will see notifications or apps on my to do list, such as meditating. 

Thrifting in a pre owned flannel off ebay. 

A typewriter I generated with Dall E. I guess I can't be mad that this is fake because... no one asked me to open an account on an AI generator and feed it prompts and save and upload the output. But I am still mad that I see these things, both in the wild and shared by people I know who are proud of their output. I want to see things a human made by default. I want to go in a special zone to see computer generated things. 

So, in my discomfort I have been thinking much about my place in the world. Because I can remember when it was a little different. I don't exactly feel comfortably immersed in the present. The gap between what there is and what I imagine there should be, what it seems there used to be, is letting me see with new eyes. 

I have started to think not just of the being I am, midway through life, but also the very, very similar beings who preceded me. Kind of like the idea, what if a caveman were here? Using the crosswalk, preparing food from the fridge- that would be hard for them. I have the same feeling- what if these women made of almost the exact stuff as me but born in 1962, 1939, 1906, had to use the search function on their phone to open google maps because there are too many apps to just see the map? They wouldn't like it, I bet, just like I don't like it. 

After a few weeks of this kind of feeling I started emailing the ones from 1962 and 1939 and asking about the ones from 1904 and 1906. And I found a degree of fellowship that is unexpected. The stay at home wife and the young, nuclear family was really just a generation or two. The generation before had the depression to contend with, exactly like me and my $19 next day shipping entryway rug. Why is it polypropylene. Why don't I own my entryway so I can sand down to good wood and refinish it and it can glow in the sun. And the answer is economic conditions. 

I sat down to decry the way my ancestors didn't stay put in one place for one single lifetime, but I sat down on the Macbook air and not the Smith Corona. So then I pulled all these photos of vintage things out of the cloud and that really pulled me away from my thesis. I will try again. 

My First Time in the Atlantic Ocean

The Atlantic Ocean isn't so easy to get to as the Pacific. I lived in Maryland in 2011 and we didn't make it any closer than Annapolis. Getting to the ocean from our part of Maryland- roughly College Park area- is equivalent to getting to the Marin Headlands from Modesto. Hours, and more than a hundred miles. 

So it was almost 10 years later when I parked on a bluff in Wales overlooking the sea. Wind blew me around, almost knocking me off the bannister on which I was posing. There was hardly anyone there but there was a mermaid's purse, carefully laid out on the railing for passers by to see and appreciate. I made my way down the steps and along the stone beach. No swimmers at that time. It was VERY important to me to get into the water despite the windy conditions. I put my feet such that the waves could rush over them. The waves were like knives of ice. As I walked around, the sole of my foot was numb but from inside my foot I could feel I was walking on something squashy- the sole. 

Later- and I can barely believe this- I carefully looked up the water temperature for that area and that time of year and that day, and the water must have been 55 degrees. Today that is a reasonable swimming temperature for me- the temperature of SF Bay water in late winter and early spring. It still might not be the wisest to swim by myself in a foreign country with no one else on the beach and in unfamiliar water. But the way I was convinced it was nearly ice... 

Since that trip I have learned more about the culture of swimming in the UK. They absolutely love it. It's like a Polar Bear Swim (a festive quick dip on Christmas or New Year's Day) every time. They sometimes wear diving booties (probably for the foot numbing reason) but they try not to wear a wetsuit. And, they don't really get tan because the sun there is so weak. So, next time I am there I will try to find a swimming group and meet up with them. Depending on the month of the year I go, I may or may not be acclimated. Their warmest ocean temperatures just about overlap with our coolest.